Worst movies I have seen..

I am not a great movie buff. I watch very few hindi movies. Hence, I am perhaps not the best person to write a blog post on this topic, as I have not seen a lot of gems like Love Story 2050, Bichchu, Oh Darling Yeh Hai India, Safari, Apne etc.

Yet, I have been lucky enough to watch a few landmark movies that will undoubtedly go down as one of the worst in the history of Indian cinema. I call myself lucky since I am sure the number of people who have seen the following films can be counted on fingertips. The idea was not to list poor movies, but the absolute worst of the lot.

1. RGV ki Aag (2007) - This film will almost certainly go down as the biggest disaster in Bollywood history, the greatest damp squib of all times. What strikes you most is the mockery it made of exceptional actors like Amitabh Bachchan and Mohan Lal. Absolutely none of the elements of the original Sholey, like the bond between Jai and Veeru, Thakur's internal angst, Gabbar's menace etc. get depicted anywhere near as well as the original. RGV might have been better off projecting his movie as a comic spoof of Sholey rather than a serious remake, as a majority of the audience came out laughing from the theater at this utterly ridiculous attempt at mimicking a classic.

2. Gajagamini (2000) - To call this movie "bad" is an injustice to it. "Incomprehensible" is a more apt description. Watching this movie was like staring at a Modern Art painting, trying to figure our the hidden meanings behind the abstract expressions. I am sure not many apart from Mr. M.F. Hussain have been able to figure them out. Even Hussain's muse Madhuri was so embarrassed that she did not turn up for the film's premier !!

3. Badhti Ka Naam Daadhi (1974) - This movie, which must have been conceived by Kishore Kumar during of of his eccentric fits, was an attempt to recreate the magic of the 50's hit "Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi". The horrendous nature of the movie is aptly illustrated by the absurd premise of the story. A rich old man mentions in his will that he would give away his fortune to the person with the longest beard. The lucky man turns out to be Kishore Kumar, whose beard it longer than his height itself. the rest of the film has a few goons chasing him with scissors, and the Kishore Kumar dodging them successfully. The least one expected from a Kishore Kumar movie was some good music, but this film was a monumental let down on that front too.

4. Jaani Dushman - Ek Anokhi Kahaani (2002) - Raj Kumar Kohli's suicidal attempt to remake his 1976 hit Nagin and launch the acting career of his son Armaan Kohli. The saying "Money can't buy everything" is apt for this hopeless film. It is very apparent that the makers spent a fortune in trying to re-create special effects of major Hollywood blockbusters, but it seems that they completely forgot to make any attention to the storyline itself. How else can you justify the hero of the movie just having a couple of lines to speak, inspite of being present in almost half of the scenes. Anyone watching this film should not forget to catch Sonu Nigam doing some of the worst acting ever seen on the silver screen. No wonder no one has heard of Raj Kumar and Armaan Kohli ever since.

Note:- I have confined my selection to A list (big budget and leading star cast) films. I have not looked at B grade movies like countless Mithun-da flicks (Truck Driver Suraj, Kaliya, Chandaal to name a few) for my selection, since such movies are meant to be poor by definition.

I am sure readers of this post would recall many other equally horrible movies they have seen. Comments invited.

Unshutdownable - Part 2 (Comedies)

Unshutdownable - Part 1 is here.

Comedies have been the flavor of Bollywood in the last couple of years, with many of them like Singh is King, Welcome, Hey Baby, Golmaal, Kya Kool Hain Hum etc. doing well at the Box Office.

Here is a list of my favorite comedy films. None of the films in this list are either lewd or cheap. Perhaps that is why they are regarded as classics.

5. Padosan (1968) - I feel it was Kishore Kumar, in arguably his best screen performance, who elevated this film from a regular run-of-the-mill Mahmood comic flick (like "Bombay to Goa") to classic status. This film also deserves a place in this list as it contains the most hilarious song in the history of Indian Cinema "Ek Chatur Naar".

4. Hera Pheri (2000) - This is one of the very few genuinely comedies to come out in the last two decades, which have been littered with cheap Govinda style or lewd humor. This film established Paresh Rawal and Akshay Kumar's status as leading funny men in the industry, and they continue to entertain us with their comic roles till date. On the flip side though, I feel the second half of the movie was not half as funny as the first, and the songs were completely out of place.

3. Gol-Maal (1979) - Probably Hrishikesh Mukherjee's finest comedy, the movie exemplifies the fact that you dont need stupid histrionics to be funny. Unadulterated Nirmal Anand.

2. Andaaz Apna Apna (1994) - It is extremely rare to see a movie where almost character is as funny as the others. Though most of the goings-on in the film appear stupid, the comic timing of the actors and the simple yet funny dialogues (like "Yeh Teja Teja kya hai? Yeh Teja Teja?") make it an all time classic.

1. Jane Bhi Do Yaroon (1983) - The best political and social satire of all times. Period.

P.S.:- Since I have tried to put together a list of "pure" comedies here, I have not included a lot of other funny classics like Lagey Raho Munna Bhai and Dil Chahta Hai in this list.

Thy Experiments With Gandhi

No other Indian movie in recent history has attracted so many editorials and serious articles. No other Indian movie in recent history has made the nation sit back and reflect on the relevance of the ideals preached by the 'Father of the Nation' in the 21st Century. No other movie in the recent past has managed to mix comedy with a social message with such success. ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’ (LRM) is undoubtedly a landmark in the history of Modern Indian Cinema.

So, how relevant is M.K.G. in the world of S.R.K. ? How relevant is ‘Swadeshi’ in the century of Globalization? How relevant is the focus on Cottage Industries in the era of Industrialization? How relevant are ideals on Celibacy and Austerity in the world of blatant Materialism? Not much really.

But as with the preachings of any great leader, some of Gandhi’s ideals remain contemporary even in this day and age. Lines like “Be the change you want to see in the world”, and “The most important battle to fight is overcoming ones own demons, fears and insecurities” will remain as useful in 2020, as they were in 1920. LRM has remixed Gandhism in an unprecedented manner.

A part of the film’s appeal also lies in the oxymoronic identity of the lead character. A funny-rogue, who leaves his core-competence to follow a non-violent path, is just the kind of character-contrast film-buffs would love. A humorous ghost, a benevolent step-mother, and a polite police-officer are some other oxymorons which might click in Bollywood.

Bollywood seems to have woken up to the commercial potential of sequels in a big way this season. Sequels and remakes can get a head-start over other films, by piggy backing on the success of their originals. But very few people today remember that the first Bollywood sequel, ‘Nigahen’ (starring Sridevi, Sunny Deol and Anupam Kher) was made in the late 80’s. It was the 2nd part of the hit ‘Nag-Nagin’ drama ‘Nagina’ (starring Sridevi, Rishi Kapoor and Amrish Puri). Perhaps the fact that ‘Nigahen’ sank without a trace at the Box Office, deterred hindi film makers from joining the sequel bandwagon for almost 2 decades.

Even in Hollywood, where sequels are more of a norm than an exception, only 2 sequels, Godfather-II and Terminator-II, have been regarded as better than the originals. In this regard, Bollywood seems to have started better, with ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’ and ‘Krrish’ outdoing their predecessors.

Irony of the season:-

One of the accused for the Mumbai Bomb Blast’93 plays a disciple of the Mahatma in LRM.

"Mooch" ado about nothing !!

I have been living in Hyderabad for the last 6 months.. Most of my commuting time on the over-crowded roads of the city is spent in gazing at monumental south indian movie hoardings, erected on all sides. While I was gazing at one such poster one day, a queer query struck me.

Why do almost all south indian heroes sport mustaches?? And why do none of the Bollywood heroes do so??

The only south India hero without a mustache I can recall is Madhawan (There might be a few others, but the overwhelming majority does have a mustache). While Anil Kapoor, Jackie Shroff, Raj Kapoor and Raj Kumar come to my mind as the only mustached hindi film stars. When Anil Kapoor had just joined Bollywood, someone had even told him, “A mustached man cannot become a Bollywood star!”

I wonder what could be the reason behind this hairy dichotomy??

Unshutdownable !!

I am not a movie-buff. I rarely watch Hindi movies. Just cannot digest the same old romantic and sentimental concoctions being rehashed in new packages. But there are a few Hindi movies, which I have simply loved watching, and can watch them over and over again. If these movies have something in common, it is the uniqueness of their storylines, and their unforgettable music. Each of them occupy a permanent slot in the all-time greats of Indian cinema.

Here is a list of my 5 favorite Hindi movies—

5. Jewel Thief –

Arguably the best suspense thriller in Hindi movie history, Jewel Thief had just about everything, a gripping plot, an unlikely villain, wonderful locales, and glorious music. And the climax song, “Hoton pe aisi baat main dabake chali aayi”, with it’s minute long dance sequences, which make it one of the most well choreographed songs of all time, just takes your breath away.

4. Guide –

Another masterpiece from Vijay and Dev Anand, Guide was a movie way ahead of it’s time. It was probably the 1st Hindi movie to portray an adulterous extra-marital relationship. Filled with S.D. Burman’s immortal music, an unusual storyline, and Dev Anand’s performance of a lifetime, Guide is simply “Unshutdownable”

3. Lagaan –

What concept! What execution! Lagaan is like the “Geeta” of film making. There is something to be learnt from each and every aspect of the movie, for audiences and film-makers alike. Not surprisingly, the movie has now become part of many management courses.

2. Sholey –

A sure-shot contender for the “Greatest-Hindi-Movie-of-All-Time” award, Sholey had nothing usual about it. A retired police officer hiring 2 small time criminals to battle a dacoit, hardly seems to be a formula for a hit film, in an industry where romance and sentiments rule the roost.

Sholey redefined Hindi movie storylines for more than a decade to come.

1. Anand –

I doubt if anyone watching the movie for the 1st time, has come out without a lump in his throat. But the beauty of this film lies not in the fact that it makes you laugh or cry, but that it makes you laugh and cry at the same time. The touching story of a man who has only 6 months to live, but lives like the happiest man on the planet, forces each one of us to re-evaluate the way we lead our lives. Undoubtedly, this is Hrishikesh Mukherji’s best work. The fact that Bengalis all over the country came to be called “Babu Moshai” for years to come, is a testimony to the enormous popularity of the movie.

To end this post, here is a dialogue from the movie Anand, which imbibes the movie’s central theme, as well as carries a message for all of us.

“Babu Moshai! Zindagi lambi nahi, badi honi chahiye!”

P.S.:- Here is a list of "25 Must See Bollywood Movies" from India Times