Mum"Bye" !!

All good things come to an end... So, have my days in my B-school... With the final project presentations due to be completed in a few days, I will bid farewell to this place within a week.. With it, I will also say adieu to the most multifaceted city in the country- Mumbai.. I’ve never been a great fan of the city.. Never liked the chaotically overcrowded streets.. the painfully long commuting durations (singular to a city that has grown longitudinally rather than expanding in a circle).. the sweat-soaked summers.. and the 3 month long non-stop rain-riot.. But over the last couple of years, I have begun to admire certain aspects of this behemoth.. Most striking is the high degree of professionalism and discipline possessed by the Mumbaikars.. Not once have I been witness to a squabble in a BEST bus.. or seen people breaking a line in ticket booking.. or heard of auto and taxi-walas grossly overcharging passengers (something which has evolved into an art form in other major cities of the country)..

Another striking feature is the high degree of indifference people have to things happening around them (which can be a good as well as a bad thing).. After all, in which other Indian city would couples be allowed to smooch and fondle their way through a local train journey without being interrupted even once!! Perhaps it is due to the acute lack of time from which the overwhelming majority of the populace grapples with.. People over here can hardly find enough time for themselves.. so, why waste it on thinking about others..

I have been most fortunate to have lived in a serene hill station right in the midst of this bustling metropolis.. And what’s more, the last 2 years have been a most engaging time in more ways than one.. Arbit, MastishK, CRship, blogging, brain-storming on anything and everything under the sun.... life had never been more joyfully challenging.... It's also been a time to find new friends.. understand others.. and build relationships that might last a lifetime... If I am taking one thing with me from here, it is probably a slightly better understanding of human nature.. Something no textbook will ever succeed in teaching.....

p.s.- Today is also the 1st anniversary of my blog.. All of last year, I have been releasing my mental exhaust on this page.. trying to relive my life.. ponder over the imponderable.. and understand the obvious.......

Keep checking this space for more such trash in the future.....

"Arbit" Raj

“An idea can change your world!”.. so goes the punch line of one of the mobile service providers.. I now know what that means.. One small idea which germinated in our minds in August of last year, the idea of creating the 1st ever B-school comic character, has today evolved into a unique concept that is entertaining the management community all over the country and abroad.. The ever increasing stream of appreciation mails that have been flooding my mail box over the last 6 months are just a small testimony to the overwhelming popularity of Arbit Choudhury.. (After all, how many of us, if we like something, actually go to the extent of mailing the creators about it).. Some of the stuff have been very touching indeed.. like one junior getting the forward of Arbit strips from his friends in 4 different B-schools simultaneously.. like a guy sitting in the caribean instantly recognising Hemant’s name during a tele-con and congratulating him for Arbit.. like 2 of my school time friends contacting me after seeing the Arbit strips…. like the appreciation mail we got from a B-school Prof....

Apart from most of the B-schools in the country, here are some of the companies from where people have sent Arbit appreciation mails.....

Patni, iflexsolutions, covansys, mckinsey, tataelxsi, tatamotors, wipro, cognizant, ge, symphonysv, persistent, mmm, irevna, mastek, strategicindia, timesgroup, mphasis, kotak, yesbankltd, deloitte, tatainternational, tatatel, torrentpower, itc, bpl, accenture, ksa-technopak, hsbc, wildcardsystems, ndplonline, citigroup, tcs, sapient, tatachemicals, hssworld, infosys, crisil, birlasoft, caritor, punjlloyd, quark, quasarinnovations, sap, vfirst, i2, deshaw, sbicaps, o2, satyam, siemens, polaris, godrejagrovet, ivycomptech, kanbay, tvs, mahindrabt, hclcomnet, hp, ashokleyland, suth, boardex, sierraatlantic, inductis, xansa, icicibank, amdocs, rallies, maricoindia, 3dplmsoftware, keels, oracle, visualsoft-tech, igate, GE Consumer Finance, SSKI Institutional Securities, mentorware, sprisminvest, kdynamics, reliance india ltd., acs-inc, fedelity, tavant, evalueserve, genesispr, ernst & young, motilaloswal, honeywell, abp, lehman, zensar, mentorix, relianceinfo, omrsystems, icici one source, icici prudential, spectrum consultants, vsnl, ambuja cement, microsoft, afs india, futuresoft, HCL tech, SBS, IBM, GE Health Care, IDBI, comat, ericsson, citigroup, reuters, tibco, SAIL, BHEL, hewitt, touchtel india, centurian bank, lucent, slk soft, norwich union, jasubhai, irco, sonata software, bernardlabs, daimlerchrysler, vedanta, arisglobal, shopper's stop, taj hotels, jet airways, NSE....

With the popularity of the Arbit yahoo group (which releases fortnightly issues of the latest Arbit strips)constantly on the rise, we have also received offers from a couple of magazines for publishing Arbit.. Soon, Arbit will descend from the electronic world to the print media..

Today, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to all those who have contributed to getting Arbit where it is today.. Nikhil, Sabya, Payal, Milind, Ashita, Medda for helping shape the character.. Atul for repeatedly granting his scanner.. Anish for reviewing the Arbit ideas.. Alex and Neelesh for providing creative inputs.. and finally, Arijit for suggesting the name “Arbit”.. I would also like to thank all those who took time off to write Arbit appreciation mails..

Just remembered a comment I made to Hemant the other day.. “Good thing Arbit was not created a couple of years back, before the advent of gmail and multi GB mailboxes.. Otherwise, where would we have stored the 100s and 100s of these appreciation mails??”

Here are some of the best remarks we have received so far....

*************************************

“I am delighted to see your comic character. You have understood the truth of MBA.” – an e-mail from a B-school Prof.

*************************************

it really reflects the truth of an MBA Grad. I just felt my MBA days were back.

*************************************

Was very impressed with the originality of thought & the simplicity with which u guys expressed the realities of MBA education..

*************************************

You will be happy to know it was distributed to our class by a professor Suranjan Das.

*************************************

After spending 2 years in B School today got to know the realities of it. Thanks buddies.

*************************************

It was the best ever forward, I happened to read...

*************************************

It might surprise you that someone sent a copy of your cartoons to me here in Cyprus.

*************************************

it sucks! you should find an alternative job. keep your day job. coz thisis the lowest form of humour. please stop writing and save us the misery.

*************************************

Your work is highly appreciated by all of us working here in UK ( just tolet u know it reached here also ) .

*************************************

finaly i see 2 mba grads-potential ferrari owners- really doing smthing more constructive than copy pasting.....hey i still make a living out of that ....

*************************************

Arbit is the personification of the gross anomalies thatthe Indian business education system suffers from.

*************************************

Well if it's the "Chacha Choudhury" for the common mass, then its "Arbit Choudhury" for the MBA / corporate executive stuffs! Get going and looking forward to many more of these "edutaining" series of the B-school comic character "Arbit Choudhury".

*************************************

It is really good... you can definitely work into an ad agency and beat Piyush Pandey (O&M)... just kidding...

*************************************

Pink papers and boardroom discussions need stufflike this to come to mean sea level from time to time.

*************************************

just to appreciate "arbit chaudhury"... i had come across it a few months back too n really liked it but didnt bother to mail u. came across it today n it entertained me all the more...... so tht goes to say tht ur creation is in no way turning stale............ great work!! how about some more?? perhaps a "hemant kotler" or a "phillip choudhary"!!

*************************************

This is really good. Carry on. It puts Dilbert to shame.

*************************************

U guys can create a niche in the Industry & also encourage the B-schoolatmosphere to move out of the Boredom of typical classroom sessions/guestlectures/events/parties etc.

*************************************

The Arbit Choudhary Strip is one of the best management comic strip i have seen after the Dilbert's....

*************************************

it is simply awesome. I have never seen Management studies being expressed in such a funny way

*************************************

Some of the clips are really old jokes but in comic strip, should be avoided.

*************************************

I have already spread ur creation to 100 odd ppl

*************************************

You guys are great artists. Do not let this die. Better it would be if you think of it as a career alternative. Arbit Chaudhary represents the typical "Indian MBA" and that's the best thing. It is a welcome break from Western management jokes and dull ridicule.

*************************************

it sounds amateurish and lacks maturity

*************************************

Wud thank God that we have the potential to have our own desi version of Dilbert!

*************************************

Brilliant is the only word I have for your creation....arewe seeing another Bill Waterson or scott Adams in the making...I dunnowhat you are doing in NITIE, but with your levels of creativity, you guysshould take a small hop and land next door....in Bollywood......

*************************************

And now, here is the longest mail of them all.. in it's entirety--

Dear Arbit,

Congratulations ! on your birth! Getting born is really a great experience, I am sure your dad-couple has gone through a lot oflaboured pains...

I am sure you will mature into a full fledged character like Laxman's common man if your pairents (two fathers, no mother!) put in more efforts. Cartoon characters become great not for the artwork; they become great for what they embody or what they signify. I am a fellow artist myself in another area, kind of drawn from the same crows(Oops! that 's' at the end was supposed to be a 'd') as your dad-tuple... My league is slightly different, but all of us areessentially the same, trying to see if black (humor) can make life look better if used on the dull - lifeless colors which generally come as a package deal called life.

If you want to grow healthy and strong, you need the following things:

1. Presently, you are comprehensible to only the yuppie urban crows(oops, Sorry again, read that as crowd please). Nobody said that yuppie urban reps cannot relate to the larger issues we have in the world.

2. The larger you become, the more your life & longevity. You have tomake yourself understandable to a larger audience. I feel the growth path has to be carefully planned, otherwise things will spin out ofcontrol. The way I see you growing is : MBA Crowd to Urban Youth ofall economic strata to All Youth (youth related issues) and then apan-age character (get married, have kids, all the stages of life)which has a national color and at last a humanitarian issues guy. Butall this without loosing your humor edge... Remember Mahabharat ( and even Shakespear's plays ) are relevant today ONLY because the issues they discuss are still relevant today. The packaging of these stories would look ridiculous today, [can't imagine anyone bringing a Mace or Bow-Arrows to work today and still be called sane, or even wearing thepumpkin pants of the bard's time], but a viewer sees through these

(Anger, Lust, Greed, Jealousy, etc....). So, if you wish to transcendthis pop-corn level into something immortal, aim to be someone who can speak the 'human' language. Otherwise the laurels you get today will wither out in no time. Examples : Pu. La. Deshpande (Marathi) & P.G.Wodehouse (English), two of the world's greatest humorists of theirtimes are not comprehensible to the 'today' generation, simply because their humour was strongly rooted in the world in which the authors existed:viz, middle class Marathi people and Edwardian rich inheritors of royal wealth. Even a character as great as Jeeves is slightly off the mark today as his skills of 'mixing the perfect drink\' & \'tyingthe perfect knot' are out of place today. When the world changed, they simply lost their bearings! Kind of \'great navigators with old maps!\'

3. Wind up: Well after that sermon, let me summarize. I do not see anything wrong, incomplete or incorrect in your present aavtaar! YouARE great, today! But to rest on these miniscule laurells would begross underkill for the talent of your co-dads. Soon, some girls willfall for them and make them fall enough to get married, then do the usual things and have kids and seek a secure job, and then some where down the line, after twenty years, they will show these sketches to their kids for drawing practice when they will realise that their first-born was lost somewhere in life\'s humdrum, never to be foundagain.

I would be very pleased to see you outgrow your yuppie image and become larger than life. Your dads will have to put in a great amount of thinking and research + their own life's experiences (and this willtake time, do not hurry guys, you go and get the jobs and get married in the meantime!) to make you stronger.

With the appeal of Lakshman's common man on the wane, there happens to be some space vacant at the top.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULD NOT OCCUPY THAT SLOT!

Love",

“Bald”erdash !!

This is the age of women’s liberation. Women have virtually conquered every male bastion. But one field were women can never overtake men is their exclusive right to be Bald. Research says almost 30% of all men become bald by the age of 50. And yet, every balding man spares no effort to hide his “shining glory”. Hair transplant, hair root rejuvenation and other “hair raising” techniques are a multi- million dollar business worldwide. But just as no one has yet been able to find a way to grow grass on the moon, no one has figured out a way to grow hair on a bald head. If anything, all the treatment can only delay the inevitable. At the end of the day, the only thing that can stop hairfall... is the floor!

Many believe that baldness is a sign of intellect. Shakespeare, Gandhi, Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Nehru, Subhash Bose were all bald. On the other hard, Hitler and Saddam weren’t. Shakespeare even went to the extent of saying, “What he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.”. Baldness has also been linked with wealth. As the Bengali saying goes, “Tak hole taka hoye”, i.e. “When you grow bald, you grow rich”. But none of these statements can console a man whose hair are disappearing faster than water in the desert. Such a man would always tell you, “a hair in the head is better than two in the comb.”

All said and done, at the end of the day, the bottom line is- “What is under the skull it more important than what is over it”. So folks, today, I declare the creation of a new cult, “BAP”- Bald And Proud!!!

Rendezvous with Death..

The 1st year of engineering is probably one of the most excruciating year’s in a student’s life. Finding an engineering student who has not been “ragged” in his 1st year is about as difficult as findng a house wife who does not watch Ikta Kapoor’s soaps. I was relatively lucky in this respect, and somehow managed to wiggle out of 1st year without being ragged to the same extent as my batchmates. Before I entered college, my brother had challenged me to pass through the 1st year without being slapped by a senior. I somehow managed to achieve this quite remarkable feat. But today, I remember the most mortifying incident of my life, an incident which I would easily make it’s way into any Bollywood pot-boiler, an incident which I am sure to tell my grand children one day.....

It was the that dreaded 1st month of college, when ragging is at it’s grotesque peak. I used to live in Raipur, and commute to my college, which was in Bhilai, by bus. By doing so, I used to violate one of the tenets laid down by the seniors of Raipur, which stated that every fresher from Raipur has to travel by train to Bhilai. And during the train journey, the freshers used to get royally ragged by the seniors. I had decided I wanted none of it. So I traveled alone by bus. But I knew that the day any senior finds out about my blasphemy, I would be taken straight to the guillotine. I needed to be extra careful to make sure that no one sees my getting into, and out of the bus near our college. So, I always took the usual precautions of reaching Bhilai well before college timings, and getting in and out of the bus about a km away from the college gates. But the sinking feeling that I might eventually be caught one day never ceased to be at the back of my mind. And one day, my worst fears came true.

One evening after college, I boarded a bus to Raipur, and nestled into a comfortable window seat. Just about 15 minutes later, a rowdy fellow on a bike began to ride along the road, just in front of my window. After staring in my direction for a short while, he suddenly exploded into the most vulgar slang attack. While riding his bike, and staring in my direction, he began to utter the most obnoxious profanities I have ever heard. I knew it now, this was a rowdy senior from Raipur, who had seen me getting into the bus, and was now hot on my trail, wanting to scare the wits out of me. But I thought that as long as I was inside the bus and he was on the bike, I was not in any physical danger. He would soon veer off and go away.

I was wrong.

Suddenly, the guy accelerated and overtook the bus. Then, most unexpectedly, asked the bus driver to stop. Soon he was rushing into the bus, anger raging in his face. I knew now, that I was done for. It was time for me to say my final prayers. As he charged towards my seat, I knew that I was seconds away from being pummeled into smithereens. My misadventure of disobeying my seniors had gone fatally wrong. The rough had now reached upto the seat before me. And then, looking at the guy sitting an chewing "pan", on the window seat in front of me, shouted at his highest pitch, “You f****** a******, can’t you look once on who is on the road, before spitting through the bus window!!!”

Phew!!! I had come back from the dead! I felt like someone whose death sentence had been cancelled after the firing squad had taken it's aim! It was the luckiest day of my life! I had lived to fight another day.....

Star Trek

If there is one thing every man (and woman) wants to know, it is his/her future. Through centuries, various concepts and logics have been evolved, which aim to somehow decipher what the future has in store. Palmistry, numerology, tarot cards and zillions of other such techniques. But scientists disregard them all. I too have been fascinated by all the various ways in which we try to know what the future holds, but have found no evidence, persuasive enough to make me believe any of these can actually predict the future with and degree of certainty. It was with this initial skepticism that I first treated astrology as well. But the intricate nature of the zillions of possible combinations of planets, and all the mathematical jugglery involved in making astrological predictions, forced me to probe deeper into the subject, in order to try to verify for myself, whether there is some scientific and factual basis behind this occult sphere of knowledge.

Astrology’s underlying principle is the fact that the various planets in the solar system, have an effect on human nature, behavior and health. This is something I do find believable, although not scientifically proven. It’s well known that the sun and moon exert considerable magnetic and gravitational forces on the earth. The moon causes tides and sun’s flares disturb satellites. The moon’s gravity is also said to cause variations in human behavior. The word “lunatic” has been derived from the word “luna” meaning “the moon”. It has been proved that many mentally unstable people go beserk on full moon nights. It is only logical then, that other planets in the solar system also exert some gravitational or magnetic forces (however miniscule in magnitude) on the earth. And some of these forces could also possibly influence human nature and health. Nothing has been proved till now, but all I say is that we should not disregard the possibility of something happening just coz it has not been proven with our exiting knowledge base.

Yet there are certain aspects of astrology I find difficult to digest. How can astrology predict things unrelated to human behavior, like accidents etc. Also, how can one derive information about one’s parents, wife and other relatives. I can’t see how the effect of planets on one person can cause all these things. Having said that, I do believe that there must be some explanation for these phenomena as well. An explanation which has not been found yet, but could be found in the future. My belief stems from the fact that several concepts and anecdotes present in ancient Indian scriptures, which were earlier regarded as fiction, have now been proven. Indian mythology says that each incarnation of the universe exists for 1 day in the life of Brahma i.e. 10 billion years. Scientists too have recently estimated the age of the universe as approximately 10 billion years. All of us know the story of how “Abhimanyu” heard the way to enter the “chakravyuh” while he was in his mother’s womb. Recent research shows that children do remember certain things from even before their birth, in their subconscious mind. But they are unable to comprehend those thoughts as they are in very abstract form.

I am not saying that astrology CAN indeed predict the future, or that everything is predecided by destiny, and that we humans cannot control our own. I just believe that we should not treat the great art of astrology (I prefer to call it “art”, rather than “science”, as science demands proof for everything) with contempt, but should instead try to unravel the esoteric intricacies of the same. Maybe, some day we will discover something that will change our world.... quite literally....

Finally, the search for the scientific foundations of astrology has some parallels with the search for extra-terrestrial intelligence, about which Carl Sagan once famously said, “The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence”.

The Birth of a Nation.. oops 2 Nations..

The history of Indian independence struggle, the creation of Pakistan and the Kashmir conundrum have always intrigued me. Of late, I have had the opportunity to go through a lot of literature on these topics. What I have read, whilst clearing some doubts, has also raised more perplexing questions in my mind, about why things happened the way they did, and what could have been......

To understand the reasons for the partition of the country, we need to go back upto 1000 years in history, and try to understand the reasons for Hindu-Muslim differences. Islam was brought to India by successive muslim invaders from the north west. The atrocities committed by these aggressors on the natives, the forced conversions, and the vandalisation of temples created a distinct sense of hatred in the hearts of the hindu people towards these invaders, a feeling which later got directed towards the muslims themselves. For hundreds of years to follow, hindus tended to treat muslims with disdain, many families going to the extent of refusing to touch anything touched by a muslim. Such grossly unfair behavior on part of the hindus only alienated the muslims further. One remarkable piece of history says that, in the 19th century, the Maharaja (who was a hindu) of Kashmir (were the majority of the population was muslim, who had been converted to Islam in the 14th century) tried to reconvert the people of Kashmir back to Hinduism, and asked the hindu priests of Kashi to perfom the requisite religious ceremonies. But the priests refused, and as a result, majority of Kashmiri people remained as muslims. One wonders, had the Maharaja of Kashmir had succeeded in his efforts then, the Kashmir problem as it is today, may not have existed at all!!

Now to the Indian independence struggle. By the 1920s, the Congress had positioned itself as a party representing all Indians (hindus + muslims + Sikhs etc.) against the British. But this did not stop leaders like Jinnah from creating the Muslim League, which claimed to fight for the rights of muslims. The British took full advantage of the simmering differences between the 2 communities and tried to maintain the divide. Although Gandhiji tried everything in his power to appease muslims, as well as treated Jinnah with great respect, he could never bring Jinnah close to his line of thought. Experts say that one of the many reasons for Jinnah’s reluctance to appreciate Gandhiji’s ideas could have been the fact that he was a typical high society, westernized and modern person, who did not identify himself with the “half-naked” saintly figure who preached “swadeshi”.

Gandhiji’s actions used to routinely invite protests from hindu fundamentalists who believed he unfairly favoured muslims, even at times sacrificing the interests of hindus. They sighted examples like-

1.Gandhiji reportedly asked for recitations from The Holy Kuran in temples as a mark of communal harmony, but never for the recitation of The Gita in mosques.

2. He favored Sheikh Abdullah ( leader of the muslim majority in Kashmir) over the hindu king Hari Singh, but did not voice his support for the majority hindus in Hyderabad, who were under the Nizam.

3.His reported statements that hindus in Pakistan should embrace death rather than come to India, and asking hindu refugees to vacate the mosques they had taken shelter in, in Delhi.

But inspite of all his efforts, he could not placate Jinnah, who even after Gandhiji’s death, reportedly said “.. a hindu leader has died..”.

Gandhiji’s philosophy of non-violent struggle against the oppressor has no parallels in human history. It was quite miraculous how one man could energize an entire nation to follow his novel ideals. Gandhiji’s methods succeeded against the British, but would they have succeeded against an enemy like Hitler, who believed in terminating any opposition at 1st sight?? Gandhijis ability to persuade people to follow his ideals through “anshans” (fasts) was also exemplary. That one man could make so many people follow the path shown by him, without any threat or use of force, speaks volumes of the stature he commanded in the masses. But his detractors may say that the way he forced the Congress, and later the Indian Govt. to change their decisions just because he did not agree to them, showed that he behaved like a dictator himself, and his fasts were some sort of “emotional blackmail”. All said and done, Gandhiji’s leadership was no doubt the single biggest influence behind India’s independence. And no matter what anyone says, no other Indian can ever reach his heights.

Coming back to the Kashmir problem, it is highly puzzling that after the Maharaja of Kashmir signed the accession accord with India, and the Indian army was called in to drive away the tribal invaders who had infiltrated into Kashmir, why did the army not finish off the job and drive them completely out of the state. Why did they stop half way through, which resulted in the creation of what we call “PoK” today. Kuldeep Nayar, in his book “Distant Neighbors” says, “Nehru’s idea was to clear the Pakistanis only upto a point which could be militarily defensible”. He also writes “Going further..... would have embroiled the Indian forces unnecessarily in an area and terrain which was unfavourable, geographically, as well as population wise”. Maybe this was the reason why recapturing “PoK” has never been on the agenda for India, in any of the 3 subsequent wars with Pakistan, although the Indian Parliament has passed a resolution proclaiming India’s right over Kashmir in it’s entirety. Why plebiscite was not held in Kashmir in the early 1950s in accordance with the UN resolution, when India would have won hands down ( since Kashmiris were extremely agitated over the atrocities committed by the Pakistani infiltrators), is another tricky question. Maybe because one of the basic conditions for the plebiscite, that the Pakistanis should vacate the area under their occupation, was never fulfilled, or maybe because of India’s distrust of the UN, which was completely favouring Pakistan at that time, under the influence of the US and UK.

Even today, the 2 countries are grappling to find a solution to the K-factor. For Pakistan, Kashmir has been a fantastic way of diverting attention from it’s domestic problems, created by half a century of corrupt politicians and military dictatorships. Perhaps, converting the LoC into an international border is the only feasible solution now, which successive govts. on the 2 sides continue to ignore, under domestic pressure. Till then, the “Kashmir” soap opera would countinue to be broadcast to high TRP ratings in both countries. Funnily enough, the word “Kashmir” too starts with a “K’.....

What Women Want!!

While rummaging through some of my old mails, I just found this forward sent to me long time back by Sallu. I have no idea whether all this stuff works or not, but it makes for interesting reading..

**************************************

There are two basic stories for how men and women "start off" together, and two basic stories for how men and women "end up". Through all of time, I'm sure that men and women have been playing out these stories... and I'm sure that they'll continue to play them out long into the future (that is, unless I have something to say about it... and I do).

THE MEETING STORIES

Here's "Meeting Story #1":

Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn't have a clue about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION for him... so instead he tries to "pursue" girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds boy "nice", but there are no "sparks", so she "just likes him as a friend".

Here's "Meeting Story #2":

Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him, boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel a powerful physical and emotional response for boy that she can't control. The sparks fly, and boy and girl "get together".

As I'm sure you know...

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation, and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.

THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"

Let's assume that somehow boy and girl actually "get together". Things usually go one of two ways after that...

Here's "End Up Story #1":

Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he "REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and more predictable. Boy starts to share "how he feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and more submissive. Girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she once had for boy, and has no way of explaining or understanding why. Girl leaves boy, and boy is left wondering what happened.

Here's "End Up Story #2":

Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let himself become a Wussy who chases girl around "sharing how he feels" and become boring. Boy keeps the relationship interesting, and he keeps challenging girl. He stays in control of himself, and by understanding his role as "The Man" in the relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted to him into the future.

And again, as I'm sure you know...

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation, and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.

If you look at your experience with women, I'm sure you'll see that these short stories describe MOST of the experiences you've had. Now, of course there are slight twists and variations, but the message is clear:

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR WOMEN... AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING WHEN YOU MEET A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.

If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it works, then you are destined to keep playing out these same stories for the rest of your life. It's very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic solution" by accident...

ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN--VERY DIFFERENT

The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to.

But the key is:

1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.

2) Understanding YOURSELF so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring, and turn a good thing into a bad one... but instead you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right track.

If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women.

Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on.

OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than it is for men. Different how? What do I mean by that?

Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS... not an "event". It happens over time, and it becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well the man in the situation understands how it works.

For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an "event", meaning that it's either there or it isn't. It really doesn't matter whether or not the woman understands how it works. (As an interesting side note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTION works, and her intention is to manipulate a man, it usually works VERY well.)

So think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism" more like a volume knob than a light switch. It's like a fantastic, classy old car that needs to warm up for a long time before you can drive it... not like a brand new Honda that you can start up and get right on the freeway with.

Here's a little secret about women and ATTRACTION: If you'll just take a little longer in every situation to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION, she'll love you for it... and you'll experience rewards that will make the extra time you spent seem like the best investment of your entire life.

Here are a few specific tips for you for the "Meeting Phase":

1) Start with something STRONG, not with something WEAK.

When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he usually makes the mistake of letting the woman KNOW that he's nervous and weak.

Don't do it.

Do something STRONG.

Challenge her.

If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her. If she's smart, argue with her a little.

If she's doing something, tell her that you could do it better.

When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE, she'll push back. That's your sign that the GAME IS ON.

If you just chase after her like the 100 other Wussies that have been bothering her this week, you will just be another boring, predictable face in the crowd.

2) Keep the TENSION UP.

One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the line go slack". This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry" or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP.

Just because she starts doing things that hint to you that she's interested doesn't mean that it's time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually. Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so do more!

3) Tease.

The word "tease" has a couple of meanings. One of the meanings has to do with doing things that are slightly annoying to get a response from someone. The other meaning is subtly different, and has to do with drawing out a response that you want by doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.Do both.

If you're about to kiss her, wait until your lips are so close that you can almost feel her... and then STOP. Pull away, and smile.

If you want to know how she feels about you, say "You LOVE me" in a condescending tone of voice, and see how she responds. If she says "NO I DON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she probably DOES "love" you.

Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it.

And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:

1) Never become BORING.

Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to ATTRACTION. Don't do either.

Of course, telling a man not to be predictable is like telling a dog not to hump your leg. Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable. We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it. But when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd better figure out a way to STOP IT.There's nothing that will kill the sparks faster than her knowing what you're about to do or say.

2) Don't hand over control.

Women like men who make decisions and take the lead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men who are overly controlling. What I am saying is that women don't like guys who are always saying things like "I don't know, what do YOU want to do, baby?".

Women don't want men that they can control, so don't be one.

3) Respect yourself, and keep your own interests.

When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants to spend as much time as possible with her.

This is natural, of course. But there's a big danger here, as well. If you put your life aside for a woman, you will become less interesting to HER. In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to spend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUT HER.

And I think it's VERY important to keep improving yourself as a person, and continue to be a guy that she can look up to and respect. As soon as you start acting like she's going to be around forever, she'll start feeling less and less ATTRACTION for you.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

Now, as you read these examples, can you see the bigger picture forming?

Can you see the deeper message?

The deeper message is that you need to understand how ATTRACTION works for women, and you need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.

Now, where does this all begin?

It begins with YOU. And it begins with you learning how to control yourself and your emotions. It begins with you needing to understand the history of how and why men and women become attracted to each other. It begins with you learning the basics of how to use subtle body language and communication to make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

Roshogolla Rhapsody

India is not a country, it’s a continent. Not just because of it’s vast landscape, but more so because of the multitude of vastly differing languages, cultures and temperaments residing under one umbrella. No other country in the world has so many disparate regional identities and attitudes, and yet manages to retain a single national character. Every caste has it’s own USP as it were, Punjabis are known for their “live-life-to-the-fullest” attitude, Gujratis for their entrepreneurial excellence, South Indians for their dignified conduct. Having said all that, each caste possesses some negative traits as well, which people from the rest of the country love to mock. I am not qualified to talk about other castes, but being a Bengali, I can endeavor to do an analysis of my own caste. So here it goes folks.....

What are the top 4 things that come to your mind when I say the word “Bengali”?? Fish, academic inclination/intelligence, artistic talent, self-centeredness.... That’s the answer most people would give you. The 1st two elements of the reply are uncannily related. More than half of humanity believes that a Bengali’s academic intelligence stems from the fact that fish is an indispensable part of his diet. Scientists have proved that fish is good for a whole lot of things... heart, skin, hair etc. But they are yet to find the link between fish and brain. Until they do, this will remain the most widely discussed rumor about Bengalis.

A Bengali’s fishy fetish stems from the fact that Bengal is a land of rivers, distributaries and backwaters. Fish and rice are the most abundantly available edible substances in the region. Just as milk and wheat have become synonymous with Punjab, coconut oil with Kerala, fish has become an integral part of Bengali culture.

The high level of academic inclination/intelligence has it’s roots in a Bengali’s nature. Bengalis are not known for their entrepreneurial skills. Most of them would rather work for someone else than start an enterprise of their own. Since most Bengalis belong to the service class, they lay extra emphasis on their children’s education. That they have to be good in studies is drilled into every Bengali child’s psyche, and as a result, most of them turn out to be pretty good at it.

Creativity and artistic talent are also traits which most Bengalis intrinsically possess. Most of them have clear and resonant voices, ideally suited for professions like singing and anchoring. Most are also good at one or another art form..... at painting, at literature, at instrumental music, at dance etc. etc. (And some a great punsters and cartoonists too!!!) Rarely would you find a Bengali without a passionate hobby. And yes, a Bengali loves his sport.

The last defining character of a Bengali is his self-centeredness. I would like to clarify here that self-centered is not the same as selfish. A selfish man may hurt others to achieve his own goals, whereas a self-centered man may not hurt others, but will also not go out of his way to help them. He is very happy to live in his own cocoon, not reaching out to others, and not taking initiatives in solving their problems. Most Bengalis would never cheat anyone, but will never be philanthropists either. This trait of theirs does at times make them unpopular amongst friends and society.

So folks, that was my take on bengalihood. My comments are the result of observations I have made through my interaction with friends, family and others over the years. I might be completely wrong in my assessment, and may alter my ideas if some more persuasive evidence to the contrary appears before me. Comments welcome!!!

p.s.-Well, so much for an insider's perspective.. for a non-bong's take on bongs, click here